“The Standing Chef”
Make a move on your partner while she is in the kitchen making pasta. Press her against the stove, which she will remind you is on. Nod as she sighs and says that the kitchen has become “too predictable” and doesn’t have the same spontaneity as it used to. Remind her that you live in a 475-square-foot studio apartment and there’s literally nowhere new to go. Ask her to make enough pasta for you.
“The Streaming Marathon”
When the two of you are alone in bed, cuddle up and do nothing but watch Netflix. Start kissing his neck and moving your hand down further and further until he says that you should really be paying attention because Breaking Bad is a very complex show with a lot of subtleties and he’s not going to answer questions later on because you missed something. Watch Gus Fring subtly stab a man with a box cutter.